'Closed'

Hey lovely people.
This is probably expected as there hasn't been a blog post in months, but I am officially closing down this blog. Ill keep the posts up, but there wont be anymore after this one.

I was diagnosed with severe depression and I'm still recovering. I am starting a very personal blog, about that and life and other things. If I remember Ill update this and post the link.

 

Signing out for the last time,

 

Much Love.

4:51

Hey people!

Update! I'm getting better! I really am. Anyway so today my Grandad and I walked up basically a mountain and it was long walk and it took 3 hours. And now my ankle is killing me, because I had an opp on it last year and it still hurts a lot. Like a lot a lot.

And after a week away from home and school, I am back at home and going back to school Monday. There is only a week left so it should be fine. I'm just a little nervous. On Tuesday it's like an activity day, and I think I have to do one of the ones at school now, and I was supposed to do surfing. So I am going to be all alone at school which sucks heaps. Then on Friday we are doing a big walk and going to the beach. I have to chat to the counsellor to see if I can go or not. I hope like hell I can. Then on Monday I have to do my music performance and sing and play guitar in front of my class :O I am going to do 'The best day' by Taylor Swift.

I also can't wait to see Sky and Martha! They came and visited me, but it wasn't the same. I am going to give them both a huge hug on Monday, they have been amazing too me.

I am going to go now. I am at my grandparents house atm. I really want to watch youtube but I have no headphones so that sucks.

Photo Montage:

My laptop wallpaper <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Made a super long photo montage today, cause you guys have put up with my one photo ones for ages, and its time I made a real long one for you amazing people. :)

 

Much Love.

 

PS: Can I get too 300 views on  my blog? I'm at 268 x

8:56

I'm blogging this from somewhere with limited internet so I don't know if I'll be able to post this right away but yeah. A lot has happened since I last blogged. I have been staying somewhere until I get better. It's okay here. Besides the limited internet, that sucks. But yesterday they took me to a waterfall and the day before, the new hunger games movie. Still I don't feel good at all.

I talked to Martha on the phone last night. She told me she just wanted me to get better, and as soon as she hung up I burst into tears. It was the weirdest conversation I'd ever had with her. Because it was as if we were trying to make light of a difficult situation but neither of us could really find it in us.

But people are being really supportive. My Mum is asking my work if I can have some time off today. My teachers say not to stress about school. My English teacher has been amazing and put my mind at rest when it comes to these responses I have to finish.

I better go now. Like I say, internets limited. The wifi I'm using is actually connected to my phone. So it's costing me quite a bit.

Photo Montage:

 

Made by me :)

 

I wish they did.

 

Much Love.

 

5:46

So I was just flicking through Facebook posts, and I found photos of my old school. And it made me miss it a lot, because it was small and everyone new everyone, and mostly because when I was there everything was just really good, and I spent 5 years of my life, going to school and being (mostly) really happy about going. That's not to say I hate High School. Because I don't. In the past two years I have met some of the most beautiful, inspiring and awesome people. But I have also had two of the toughest years of my life. Because the environment is so different to my old school. I have been bullied (which, sidenote: is not what has made it tough. It has certainly contributed, but not that much. I don't care what people say, and learnt quickly that they try to belittle you, to bigger themselves. Which is actually pretty funny when you think about it). The funny thing is though, while I have had a tough two years (mostly year though), I have also got a job, which I love, and the people I work with are really nice, and I don't have to go to work and worry, which is good. I have also been in the top class. Made a friend who even though we met this year (August?) it feels like I have known her a lifetime.

And I have exams at the end of the week. I am taking them and I feel kind of worried. I have studied, but I never feel like it is enough. I know that my expectations of myself are stupidly high, and the people around me never fail to remind me of this. But still. Today I worked and yesterday I had Martha's birthday get together, and so I have done none this weekend and school is tomorrow. And I am going to stop writing about this now, because it is making me feel more and more worried and ugh.

So I am going to go and study.

I apologize if this post was deep, and sad and maybe even annoying.

But thanks for reading.

And maybe even understanding.

Photo Montage:

*Current mood*

 

Kind of obsessed with Demi Lovato atm. <3

 

Not all these apply to me. But I miss a lot of things. Especially when we did whatever we wanted without worrying about being judged, and also not caring what we looked like. Also I just felt this related to the blog post.

 

 

 

Much Love.

 

PS: Regarding the post about adulthood above. I am not an adult guys, I am a teen. I'm sorry to the adults out there that have to buy their own juice pouches (Pouches? Where are they called that... Over here it is boxes, anyway...) and fruit snacks, I feel sorry for you, I really do. :P

                        

5:04

I am back because I need to be. And it might not be for long, I am not sure. I am also aware that my amount of viewers will have, and has dropped, because of my inactiveness, but that's my fault, haha.

So today my school has a dance, and I am not going because well, I'm not really up to it. And I didn't think I wanted too. My best friend is going with Mackenzie. Which is ok, good actually, I told her that she should go, and not to let the fact that I am not going, stop her. And I am glad I did, because I hate people close to me making sacrifices, I really do. But I am also kind of sad. Because I won't be able to see her on the rare occasion she wears makeup, and dresses up, and talks to guys. And isn't that what a best friend is meant to be there for? I don't know. I feel kind of like a failure.


Photo Montage:

 

6:08

Hello,

Just a quick update. I have decided to keep my posts up and simply start blogging again when I get better.

Much Love.

11:35- Good afternoon Good evening and Goodnight

Hey everyone.

I have made a decision, which I know not everyone will be happy about. But I think it is a good one, and I hope you guys can understand.

I am going to delete all my blog posts soon. Not the actual blog, because I want to recycle it, but the posts. For a few reasons. The 1st is that my anxiety is taking its toll lately, perhaps the reason for the-lack-of-posts. The 2nd is, when I made this blog I didn't really have any idea what I wanted to do with it, and so I just blogged about my everyday life, which although easy for me to blog about, is probably not the most interesting of topics.

I will be posting again soon, although most likely after Nanowrimo. The posts won't be the same as they are now, and will probably be much more thought provoking, is that's what I enjoy most about writing. I might even take on one of those blog challenges.

If you come here often, it is really your choice whether you want to read my new posts or not. I would love it if you'd stay,

But in case I don't see you:

 

Love you guys.